


Apology to Geesus will not suffice now

by Anonymous



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: And didn't beta, Anyways, Good night, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Not Ashamed, It also has some sort of world building or something, M/M, So you can guess how messy it is, but I should be, i wrote this in one go, joy this is your fault and i love you for this, neither the rating or the ship type leave me sure of correctness of my desicions, so make of that what you will, yall love that shit right?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:47:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22023580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: My writing demon went off in someones' inboxAnd now y'all have a little red riding hood kink ficThank it later, preferably after my sleep depreeved or however that's spelled brain decides to delete this
Relationships: JoeHills/Cubfan/Scar
Comments: 7
Kudos: 45
Collections: Anonymous





	Apology to Geesus will not suffice now

“Who’s the guy who can concur death?"

Joe twirled on a cool rock he found to fill the empty beat, his countless petticoats bouncing along. Without losing his balance, he clapped his shoes together, generating a cloud of white dust: 

That’s Joe Hills!” 

Elegantly and carefully as to not cast off his hood, he hopped of off the rock and skipped on on his merry way, somewhat faster than he usually would. He’d waisted enough time already, and there was this weird feeling of someone watching from the dense woods around him he couldn’t seem to shake off. Maybe it was just squirrels. Who knows? 

Courage running low once again, he started on the next couplet, or rather, repeated the chorus: “That’s Joe Hills! That’s-“ 

There was a presence behind him. 

Not wasting any time, he ducked, skirt brushing against the dusty to the point of fluffiness ground. A surprised grunt was all the confirmation of cleverness he needed. 

Still low to the earth, he darted away for good measure before straightening up and turning around on his heel. Indeed, there was his pursuer, all ragged clothe, sharp claws and cheeky pose. Low-laying grey ears didn’t help his case at all, adding to the whole ‘extremely suspicious, walk to the other side of the street upon spotting’ vibe marvelously. 

Unfortunately for Joe, they weren’t on any street where crossing over could be an option, so he elected to back away slowly, hoping that if he keeps eye contact the bald but beardy wolf would not attack. It seemed to be working, as well as such a strategy could work: while Joe couldn’t exactly run backwards, a distance slowly built itself between him and what was possibly a very hungry predator. 

He bumped into something hard, warm and suspiciously chest shaped way earlier then he anticipated it to be a problem. 

Before either he or the wall of a man behind him could react, a basket full of pastry slammed into a rather surprised looking face. Joe jumped away, backwards, keeping his eyes glued to the new threat. 

A faint ‘impressive’ seeped behind him. Oh great, he was surrounded now, just what he needed on the way to his grandmas’ home, thanks a lot Cernunnos- 

Meanwhile, the man he had slammed in the face with sweets has recovered from the blow, flexing his very ravishing jaw before looking Joe in the eyes from his impressive hight. 

“What the heck man, what do you carry in that thing? It must weight at least thirty pounds, packs quite a punch”. 

Well this was not how he expected this conversation to go- 

“I’m told not to talk to strangers”. 

Though he probably should’ve, considering how brash this wolfish individuals’ expression was. Curse his hood, he couldn’t check on the other one without turning around- 

As though reading his thoughts, a somewhat raspy, sing-song voice rang behind him loud and clear and way closer than he’d presumed: 

“Good thing we aren’t strangers, then, but your simple wolves”. 

“You are-“- he side-stepped, off of the trail and onto fir-needle and leaf covered grass, prompting the wolves to move- “creatures I’m otherwise not acquainted with”. 

He hopped onto a mossy log he’d spotted earlier: “So I’m afraid that makes you strangers, o good sirs”. 

The bold wolf to the left of him smiled a toothy smile, revealing quite sharp and startlingly white fangs. Well that was chilling- 

“In that case, shouldn’t you be polite and answer our question, little red riding hood? Or I dunno, not smash us in the face with your- he eyed his brown haired companion, who made a cartoonishly pitiful expression- evidently heavy basket?” 

Joe shrugged. “Maybe if you didn’t randomly manifest behind me all ominous like, I wouldn’t have done that. I’m pretty polite to people who aren’t creeps, you know?” 

His words prompted the scar-faced wolf he’d clubbed earlier to creep closer, that same dashingly mischievous smile on his face: “Well that was very rude, just now! What’s your excuse?” 

The tone of voice he used was not at all trustworthy. Cautiously, Joe kept his voice carefree even as his shoulders rose defensively, his grip on the basket tightening: “I mean, your friend over there- bald dude, as Joe dubbed him, had the audacity to bow a little- almost grabbed me a moment earlier, so I think that kinda gives me permi-“ 

Scarry- again, as Joe dubbed him- pounced on him. 

Now, there’s this thing about Joe not many people know; even in about a dozen petticoats and a corset, he was still the master of escape. So, even though his pursuer rather obviously had above average speed, he managed to whirl out of the way. By a long shot, too. 

Landing gracefully on the soft forest floor, he bolted, freezing in place after yet another turn around. His unsuccessful captor rose up, awestruck ‘wow’ escaping him as he went, from the somersault he was forced to perform. 

Joe didn’t smile. “Now, that’s what I call being rude. I’m not sure what definition of ‘rude’ you’re using though, so don’t let it stop you”. 

A light, very youthful chuckle rang next to him, and he was once again reminded of how close bald dude was to him. There was something quite charming about the noise, though, and it prompted Joe to study bold dude a bit closer. Sure enough, he was a lot younger than his silver beard might suggest, and possibly much more dangerous than Joe gave him credit for, even if he was yet to attack properly. 

No time to ponder on that, Scar-scarry- having already gotten back into shape, now cackling lightly and looking at Joe like he was a piece of meat. Joe back stepped in direction of his grandmas’ cottage. He knew a shortcut, so he could escape a bit faster than by the normal path- 

“Oh, before you go, from backer to backer, what are those cookies in your basket made out of?” 

Did these people have no understanding of social situations- 

Keeping on his calm facade and keeping up the backing up, Joe did his best to smile unassumingly: “Oh, you know, the normal stuff, like eggs and flour, some sugar, some phenethylamine, nothing unusual”. 

Cubs’-bald dudes’- eyebrow arched up into his hairline, or rather, where his hairline would be. “Your grandma must to be an interesting person”. 

“I never mentioned having a grandma”. 

“Oh”. 

Joe took off running. 

Naturally, both wolves took off after him. 

The chase was easily the most exhilarating thing he’s ever experienced, having to weave between trees like a crazed bunny to evade the insanely fast duo. Cub didn’t even touch the ground! It was double unfair, cause Joe had a corset! And exercising in anything what tightened around ones lungs was always bad! And now Joe knew why! 

Finally, a wooden wall peaked through the opening in the trees, and Joe about died of relief. Last stretch of the way, just a bit until he gets to breathe again- 

He was already in the clearing, the door to safety mere inches away, when a horribly ripped as the kids might say hand came around him. The world spun. A loud thud of a back hitting wood echoed against the trees and through Joes’ body. 

“Gotcha”. 

And of course Scar wasn’t out of breath. 

Not even attempting to struggle against the deceivingly light hug, Joe slumped, exhausted from running beyond words. As dark spots stopped dancing before his eyes and muscles stopped screaming, he looked up, noticing Cub walking up to them as composed as he was when Joe first saw him today. 

“Now, you won’t be needing these, will you?” 

In one easy move, Cub pulled off Joes’ glasses, other hand going to take away the basket. The world turning to a bunch of colorful smudges again, Joe wiggled around indignantly, mindful of exactly where he created that friction for Scar. If the arms around him tightening and persistent breathing in his ears hitching were any indication, he was successful in his pursuit! 

A light chuckle came from the Cub-shaped blob, coming closer, and then there was a hand on his cheek. Light blue shone somewhere inside of his brain, there weren’t really words to pinpoint where exactly, and the next thing he knew, both him and Scar were falling backwards. 

Their position was flipped before they could hit the floor, and it turned out it wasn’t the floor at all, but rather the fluffy bed inside the cottage, and Joe got a mouth full of a blanket almost straight away. 

He was flipped again, Scar not even bothering to hold him down. Essentially blind without his glasses and slightly dizzy from the teleportation magic on top of it, his guess was Scar sat up above him, which was proven to be right as he spoke: “Just don’t take off everything, I like the dress, it’s very nice”. 

His and Cubs’ replies came at the same time, mashing up: “Got it”. 

“Thanks, Cleo and I spent a lot of sleepless nights working on it”. 

Enveloped by their laughter, he failed to notice Scar coming down completely, thus startling at the light lick of his cheek. The chuckle he earned was a good indication of how adorable the ConCorps found his pain- 

He didn’t get time to ponder, a full on kiss completely stealing any and all attention he had left, at least until- freedom! His corset loosened, he couldn’t help gasping, which was the only invitation fay people need to invade someones’ mouth with their clever tongues, apparently. 

His arms, which had ended up kneading on Scars’ back at some point, were one by one rid of gloves. Pretty much the only way by which he knew was Cub kissing each of them. It wasn’t that he couldn’t focus on his body, on the contrary, it was him laser focusing on it, feeling every rugosity of Scars’ lips and every sweep of tongue, against his mouth, neck, collarbones, chin- 

It was really too much already, and they were only getting started. Well dang, stone him if these two weren’t good at this! 

Scar moved away, and the whine that left Joes’ mouth was honestly shameful. At least his skirt was being lifted, so that was something- 

“...riously dude? Puffy shorts?” 

Yes, and also tights, get on with it-

“I’m a modest man, you heathen” 

More laughter. Both the tights and the ‘puffy shorts’, as Scar so kindly called them, pulled off at once. With no regard for Joes’ neither regions, of course. 

When did they take his shoes off? Whatever, the things were progressing- 

Or so he thought, all hands leaving him and a loud moan filling the void of so desired pressure. He couldn’t help but whine. 

“Whyyyy?” 

Scars' voice cut through ragged, hitching breathing like an especially sharp knife. “Oh, you know, a little punishment for being rude”. 

Cub only replied with a faint, lascivious whimper. Joe could only guess he was getting punished alongside him. Curse Scar and his ingenuity, and multitasking skills, and cruel, cruel nature, he always did this kinda thing, couldn’t he just please please please help him, please, Joe didn’t ask for much, just something, some pressure, some fullness, something, anything- 

He’d only realized he’s been begging out loud when Scar breathed out a terribly stark and clear ‘if you insist’. There had to have been some cult magic at play- 

None of that mattered, there was pressure next to his thigh, must be Scar moving closer. 

It was, thank gods and demons and all those in-between. 

Kisses came back full force, and all was good in the world, the balance restored and the spirits freed, Joe was living for the dads exploring all over and wiping tears he apparently acquired at some point. Interesting, there were four hands- oh right, Cub and Scar, four hands in total, two on his face and two all over the place, all was great, no centipedes and certainly no spiders in sight. 

His own laugh came as a surprise, as he kinda forgot he existed with how much he was feeling. To no ones’ surprise, his moment of weakness was used immediately, a finger pressing to his lips. He didn’t hesitate a second. Well, that answers some questions, it was Cub at his head! Good to know. 

It didn’t last long, as he was flipped and worked open, even though that wasn’t necessary at all. He was barely aware of hands dancing around this time. He also lost track of what was happening, being moved around again, he was probably sitting up now- 

Finally, Scar got around to it, he was still slow but it was better than nothing. A strong slam into him told him not to sass, probably along with words but who needs words- 

Jokes on the slam, it was exactly what Joe wanted! 

He was being kissed again, this time by Cub, and bright blues exploded all before his eyelids. Nothing, but blues and azures and skies on a sunny winter day. It was so much, too much, but Joe still wanted more so he did his best to take more, get more at any cost, such strong arousal being a complete first for him- 

He almost fainted when Cub pulled away, but the blues remained and danced in such strong patterns Joe could almost make out silhouettes of some incredible beings, incredibly, wildly aflame beings he knew and loved- 

Guided by the hand to Cubs’ crotch, he didn’t need to be asked twice. The blues unhinged completely. He couldn’t hear anything, but the blues, and could barely feel anything but them and it was so darn much- 

In one brilliant moment, it all burst. Nothing, but the whitest blue before his eyes, Joe was pretty sure his body just self-destructed. But what a sweet death it was! 

Not a millisecond later, the white blue went out. 

Slowly, somewhat unsure, Joe opened his eyes. Bright spots danced before his vision, and he was reminded he died with no glasses on. Bringing his hand up to white at his eyes, he realized few things at once: 

His hand is sticky. 

His dress is a mess, goodbye all the hard work. 

He was still in that same bed. 

Oh, so he didn’t die after all. 

The light amusement that definitely wasn’t his own, got mixed with confusion, that was everyones’. 

Collective, and thus triply loud variation of ‘oh shit’ almost left his inner ear deaf forever. 


End file.
